Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
