We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize