they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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