I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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