Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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