Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
