chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
