just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
