eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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