Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
