ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
