Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
