i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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