If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
