last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
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I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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