your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
