so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
