Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my shit smells like andre
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
