I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize