i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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