So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
