so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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