if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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