I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
