We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
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We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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