There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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