I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
