I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
