I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
