Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
