Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
