3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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