I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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