dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The air was thick with penises
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
