Just cropdusted the office
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
