Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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