I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
