When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
