Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize