Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!