he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale