I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize