he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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