Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
