Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
