AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
