I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
