she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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