And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
