Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
