My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
