haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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