Having a random hookup so left but love u
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize