Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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