I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
