you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
