return my video game
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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