so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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