I'm passing your future prison.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
