She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
