I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
