Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
