dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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