i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
